My rating: 5 of 5 stars
There’s something seriously wrong with Xander. For once, he's not talking about the health anxiety that randomly pops up and wreaks havoc on his life. He's talking about, well, everything else. All his roommates have found someone to love them, and it hurts to see the guys who used to have him at the centre of their worlds pair off and grow up, especially when it’s a reminder of how alone he's always been. He's always had an issue with relationships. With forming a connection with people outside of Seven, but this is more. Because he wants to find his someone. Except the one person his brain has latched onto is the one person he can never have. The one person who’s there to help him when his panic attacks get too much. Nurse Derek. Derek should never have offered to treat Xander Moore. And now here he is years later, his life on hold, while he waits day in and day out for the call that Xander needs him. It always comes, and he always answers, but he's starting to dread those visits. Lately, he's looking at Xander in a way a medical professional should never look at their patient. When Xander starts volunteering at the same nursing home that he does, he gets to see a new side of him. The artistic, charismatic side that draws the residents in. He gets glimpses of a man who’s so much more than his anxiety, and it does nothing to help his feelings for him. Lines begin to blur and Derek has no choice but to stop treating him. That at least allows them to be friends. The only problem is, being friends isn’t enough for either of them.
I loved this story as Xander struggled with his life and his mental health problems. I liked the distinction that Derek made about what would be unethical and that he was determined to stick to those rules. Xander found strength from his friendship with Derek which was lovely to read. Lots of emotions and feelings in this story as the two men found a way to healing and being together. Easy to read, feel and understand. This was an MM story with mature content.
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